I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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