She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
