All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
