all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
