we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
