I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
