Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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