well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
