dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
