ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
we're making bets on your personal life
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
