at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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