her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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