he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
