I just made out with a guy for $7.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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