i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Randomize
