My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
