I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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