perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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