I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
