Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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