im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
