THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
