do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
