I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
