Your face is a jimmy john
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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