girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
