there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
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