i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
