Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
