I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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