you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
pray to the hookup gods
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
