i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
operation have a gay friend backfired
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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