Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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