she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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