i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You were trust falling into bushes
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
