every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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