Buhtt sex?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
They took my balls.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
