I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
