I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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