There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
