i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
