She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
