Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
