Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
