I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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