there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
