Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
