Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
