He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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