I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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