Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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