I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
