His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
