Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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