I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
