Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
