You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
