Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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