dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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