i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
