his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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