hotel room ftw
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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