Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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